Like your standard ‘matches to make next’, but with an emphasis on fantasy and a disregard for probability. Basically, fights that should happen, but probably won’t.

Holly Holm: One of you is responsible for this, one of you has to pay

She ruined the bantamweight division, and now she has to fix it.

Holly Holm dethroned the queen, but failed to properly take over the mantle as 135lbs badass. As a result, the division is now entering a not very exciting game of hot potato. Just as Holm spoiled everybody’s fun by failing to become ‘that champion’, Miesha Tate managed an even more limp defence of the poisoned strap.

We’re now in a position where relative newcomer Valentina Shevchenko could be fighting Julianna Pena for a shot at Amanda Nunes. For the title. Let that sink in and ask yourself why the UFC failed to prepare for such a situation by not bothering to actually promote fighters in this weight class other than Ronda (and, grudgingly, those who ended up with the belt).

In a Ronda-less world, they’ll either need to very quickly get the promotional dollars behind Pena, Shevchenko and actual champion, Nunes, or run back Holm vs. Tate. It won’t happen, but sacrificing either fighter to the eternal scrapheap would at least leave the promotion with a challenger the masses have heard of.

PROMOTE YOUR FIGHTERS, ALL OF THEM.

Francis Ngannou: Sorry to be boring, but…

Francis Ngannou could very well be the next big thing at heavyweight.

Ngannou is definitely big, of that there can be no doubt, but it’s more than just his abnormal size and power: he appears to be that rare breed of heavyweight that actually has skills. Not that last night really helped his case at all, dispatching of a bloated light-heavyweight that’s never fought anyone of note and should never be anywhere near a main card ever again.

I can’t spell Ngannou’s most recent victim’s name, and you won’t care if you never hear from him again, so let’s just leave it there. It was probably an earlyish stoppage, but you’ll get no protest here.

So here’s the thing… Francis Ngannou could be good, like, really good. But he’s had only three fights in the UFC, and last night was a massive step down in competition. Besting the also-talented Curtis ‘excellent name’ Blaydes was a real scalp for Ngannou, showing us big improvements between fights. Last night showed us nothing.

Ruslan Magomedov also has three wins in the UFC and is also something of a prospect. Pitting two possible future contenders against each other would be suicide in any other division, but this is heavyweight! You’re only ever a couple of fat handed KOs away from a title push, let them go at it.

If you’re one of the many people calling for Ngannou to face Derrick Lewis next, let’s boil that down to its barest bones for you:

• They’re both very big
• They’re both black
• You’re a racist!

Edson Barboza: Strike while the Eagle’s fit

Until Khabib Nurmagomedov gets his title shot, lightweight is on hold.

What else can we do? Despite having built his massive win streak up over a prolonged period, Nurmagomedov has earned his right to fight for UFC gold. Problem is, it’s been so drawn out that others have put together their own case for a shot at the prize.

In a perfect world, beating Anthony Pettis and Gilbert Melendez, in succession, would have sealed the deal for Edson Barboza. But the Eagle looms over 155, ready to jump back to the front of the queue at any given moment. Oh, and there’s a guy with an eight-fight win streak who already tapped Barboza out only 7 months ago.

Sort it out, lightweight, you’re a shambles.

Nurmagomedov-Alvarez, somebody fight RDA, I dunno. Shambles.

Jason Knight: *insert fighter name here*

Does it matter who Jason Knight fights next? You’re going to watch.

Mouthy, entertaining, possibly mental, Knight has it all. This is fantasy matchmaking, it’s not based on logic or reason, it’s based on wants and needs:

Either Diaz brother, Al Iaquinta, Donald Cerrone, Derrick Lewis… All work just fine in this fantasy scenario, make them happen. Now.